For vibe coders who shipped and heard crickets

You shipped it.
So why does it have zero users?

Send us your app's link. Within 24 hours you get a straight-talking teardown of your landing page, plus 5 fix prompts you can paste straight into Cursor or Claude Code.

Get my teardown for $19 →
Launch offer: first 5 teardowns at $19, then $29. · Delivered by email within 24h

Sound familiar?

The code works. The launch post went out. Then nothing happened.

"Would you use this?" → 0 replies

You drop your link in every builder thread and get a few likes and zero signups.

Friends say "looks cool"

Nice, but it doesn't tell you why a stranger bounces after 5 seconds.

"Is my app even safe?"

The AI wrote it fast. You're not sure what's sitting in your public JavaScript.

What you get

One written report covering your public landing page, delivered as Markdown you can drop into your repo or paste to your AI.

01

5-second test

What a stranger actually understands: what it is, who it's for, why it matters, what to click.

02

Rewritten hero

Two ready-to-use headline, subheadline and CTA rewrites, with the reasoning behind them.

03

Trust gaps

The things that make cautious visitors hesitate, ranked by impact, each with a concrete fix.

04

Public-surface check

SSL, security headers, and API keys exposed in your public JS bundle. Passive only: we never probe, log in or attack.

05

5 fix prompts

Copy-paste prompts written for your stack, for Cursor, Claude Code, Lovable or Bolt.

06

One thing this week

If you only fix one thing, this is the one.

A real sample teardown

Excerpt from a teardown of a real, public, vibe-coded app: a free browser collage + meme editor whose maker asked for blunt feedback on X. Anonymised, and nothing invented.

1 · 5-second test: PARTIAL

What is it?A free photo collage maker in the browser. Clear.
Why care?"No watermark, no account" is the real hook, but it's in paragraph two. The AI features (face-aware crop, background removal) are buried as inline links.
Biggest blockerThe H1 "Free photo collage maker online" is an SEO phrase, not a promise.

2 · Hero rewrite

Headline: "Make a collage in 30 seconds. No watermark, no signup."
Sub: "Drop in your photos, AI crops faces so nobody gets cut off, and you download a clean PNG. Free."
CTA: "Drop your photos →"

3 · Trust gaps (top 2 of 5)

1. No proof it works before I commit my photos: all words, no before/after. → 5-second demo under the H1.
2. The on-device privacy reassurance sits far below the CTA. → One-line badge under the button.

4 · Public-surface check

TLS 1.3 · valid cert✅
Strict-Transport-Security❌ missing
X-Frame-Options / CSP❌ missing
Server secrets in public JS (694 KB scanned)✅ none found
Firebase web key🟠 public by design, so restrict it and check storage rules (users save photos)

5 · Fix prompt (1 of 5)

Review my Firestore and Firebase Storage security rules. Users can sign in and save collage projects containing photos. Make sure: (1) a user can only read/write documents and files under their own uid, (2) nothing is world-readable or writable, (3) uploads are limited to image MIME types and 15 MB. Show the current rules, the risks, the corrected rules, and add emulator tests.

Pricing

One app, one report, one price. No subscription.

LAUNCH OFFER · FIRST 5 ONLY
$19
  • Full teardown: all 6 sections
  • Delivered by email within 24h
  • Closes automatically after 5 sales
Claim a $19 spot →
STANDARD
$29
  • Full teardown: all 6 sections
  • Delivered by email within 24h
  • Regular price after the launch offer
Buy at $29

You'll enter your app's URL (and any notes) at checkout. Secure payment by Stripe.

FAQ

What do you need from me?

Just your app's public URL, entered at checkout. Add notes if there's something specific you want looked at (pricing, onboarding, a competitor).

Is the security check safe for my app?

Yes. It's passive: we only read what any visitor's browser already downloads (your page, its JavaScript, your SSL certificate and headers). We never log in, submit forms, guess URLs or attack anything. It isn't a penetration test, and we'll tell you that plainly.

Who writes it?

An AI-assisted review process built by a maker who's shipped 11 vibe-coded projects and learned the hard way why apps get zero users. Every finding is checked against your live page, and nothing is made up.

My app needs a login. Can you review inside it?

Not in this version. We review what a first-time visitor sees, which is where most zero-user problems start.

How fast?

Within 24 hours of payment, by email to the address you use at checkout.

Questions about my report?

Just reply to the delivery email and we'll answer.

Not ready yet? Got a question?

Leave your app URL and email. We'll reply to questions, and let you know about new launch spots. No spam.